hurt me more (not literally)
by tranquil.stars
Summary: "you…. had a crush on me?" - - "i answered this three times, hope," [1x12]


**i don't write for this section but gyrhdfyghdfg these two are so cute and... i'm gonna cry if they don't have more interactions so here, have this bundle of fluff for now**

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Josie picked at her cuticles under the warm water that ran from the faucet. She'd woken up at 2 AM with red-shot eyes and the feeling of grime underneath her nails. She figured it was the guilt seeping from the pores on her hands and shuffled to the bathroom, trying to let the water wash it away. The _look_ on Hope's face during the car ride, when Lizzie's eyes had nervously flashed to Josie's when asked who had spread the rumors. Josie wanted to scream, but instead she swallowed a mess of her emotions and turned to the window, letting the sounds of humming fuel and engine hisses lull her away from the real world.

Sure, her sister and her half-friend, Hope, had given her the pleasure of letting the 'why' question go unanswered during the car ride, but once they had returned back to their dorm, Lizzie hadn't stopped short of demanding an answer.

"Why would you try to drive a wedge between me and Hope?" and just like that, Hope was behind her as well. She was cornered, and she had no choice but to spill. With her sister, she could cut it short with, 'I didn't like her,' another lie. However, Hope was here, and she'd be able to see right through her if she said that. So, she spilled. About the fire, the letter, the blooming crush, and her thoughts about her sister's crush-stealing attitude.

"You had a crush on me?" Hope had asked quietly, a small, gleaming smile treading up her cheeks. One eye was closed, almost in thought, and soon the other one joined it. Josie didn't even have time to decipher what it meant, because she was shaking and struggling to conceal it. She had never revealed the crush to anyone, especially not who it was targeted at.

"Of course I did," Josie spurred, lowering her eyes slightly, and then pressing her lips together in slight shame, but a light smile. "Who wouldn't?"

Her eyes brightened and curved, and her dark rosemary lips curled into a light grin, one that she was obviously fighting. Josie had barely seen a smile like it; and she wondered how it could come out of Josie admitting to destroying the only picture she'd painted with her father. How could Hope smile so care-freely, when Josie had admitted such a terrible thing?

Even still, the corners of her mouth tugged and she felt a soft smile break itself into her lips. It wasn't her fault—Hope was just so sweetly smiling that it felt like she had to smile back. Meanwhile, her sister had curved eyebrows and shaky pupils, obviously fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry, Jo," she cried out, reaching for a hug, which Josie accepted carefully. Hope trailed from the room, obviously in some sort of a trance. Josie felt the draft of air when Hope whirled around slowly and left, but she was too busy comforting her sister to say much.

Josie scrubbed harder at her nails. She didn't want to feel the shame of the fire anymore. She'd eventually lived with it after years had gone by, but after learning earlier that it destroyed such an important thing to Hope, all the buried shame rose from the dead and crippled her endlessly.

After she compelled herself to turn off the running water, her hands were raw red and her nails were picked to the nub, sore from scratching and scrubbing. She ran her fingers through her hair, and the room suddenly felt like it was suffocating her with every breath she took. Her head was reeling and her chest was heaving, struggling to intake all the air she needed.

In a quick motion, she moved to the bathroom door and shuffled across the wooden floor. She was careful not the wake her sister, who had fallen asleep after Josie's constant reminder that she was forgiven. Once she reached the door handle and pulled it open, warm golden light flooded the dark room and it slightly stirred her sister.

Josie made sure to slip out from the smallest opening possible and then shut the door lightly so her sister could sleep again.

"Josie?"

_Shit. _She'd been on two whole seconds and already been caught. On her heels, she wheeled her way around and got prepared to face whoever was calling her.

Her breath caught in her throat. Oceanic eyes gleamed back at her, through the dim lighting of the school hallways, and russet-brown hair caught her eye. _Hope_.

"Hey," she coughed, trying to act non-suspicious and collected. "I was just—"

She struggled for an excuse. Hope raised her eyebrow in interest.

"... Food." Josie answered with a dry throat after a minute of deadly silence. That was the best she could do.

Hope gave her a quick smile, "Let me take you to the Cafeteria, then," she slyly said, feigning innocence. "I mean, It'll be hard after curfew, but I'm sure—"

"Fine." Josie sputtered, crossing her arms over her white pajama shirt, which had black stripes down the sleeves and cut off right above her waist, leaving a small sliver of her skin exposed. "I wanted to take a walk… it's stuffy in my room."

The tri-brid nodded, grinning harder before. Silence overtook them again, and it felt like Josie was going to die in this situation. Literally, a monster could burst in and demand the last urn to Malivoire, and she'd probably just stay frozen still, staring at Hope and waiting for her to break the silence between them.

Two, three minutes passed until Hope finally spoke.

"You had a crush on me?" she asked swiftly, in a few breaths.

Josie put her hands behind her back for a second, eyes wide and surprised, She'd like to think that Hope had somehow forgotten about what Josie had said in their dorm, but obviously it wasn't the case.

"Didn't we have this conversation?" she relies on dry humor, for now, because she isn't sure what will happen if Josie gives her a straightforward answer, one that's _definitely_ not _straight_.

"I just," Hope arches a shoulder and shrugs, "It's hard to believe, I guess."

Josie's cheeks flush pick. "Just forget about it. It was a silly crush."

Hope blinks again, and she runs four fingers through the side of her hair. "You… really had a crush on me?"

Josie puts her head in her hands, almost upset now. It was kind of hard to be, though, with that glimmering twinkle in the girl's eye. "I answered this three times, Hope."

"What about now?" she asked carefully, and Josie tipped her head in confusion. "Do you still… have one?"

_That's a trap_. Josie identified, and there was no way she'd fall into it. Nope. She wasn't admitting her feelings _ever_ again, not after Penelope, and not after Rafael, either. Sure, she hadn't been too involved with Rafael, but her sister was, and that was enough to drop any feeling that he was cute.

When she didn't answer, Hope shuffled her feet, "I had one too."

Josie squinted. She squinted so hard she thought her eyes would fall off.

"On… me?"

"Yeah," this was hard for Hope, but it had to come out one way or another. She'd shakily broken off her fling with Landon prior to this conversation, in heat of the moment, and she would't leave here without saying what needed to be said. He was still half-asleep when she'd blurted it, and she was honestly thankful. Otherwise, he would've made her go into the nitty-gritty details and... ugh. "I just... yeah."

Like Josie's cheeks could get any redder. But, Hope pressed her palm into Josie's lower arm and moved it down into Josie's hand, letting their fingers intertwine.

"I didn't—" Hope breathed, "I dunno. I was… really smitten. And… I started insulting you to try and push it away. that's why I'm so surprised you even… _thought_ that way about me."

Josie snorted, Hope pouted. As much as Hope hated having conversations about her feelings and budding romances, she had to get it out. The leftover buzz from their road trip would be gone by tomorrow, and her strength to talk about this would be gone all the same.

"Snort all you want, but it's true." she moved her other free hand so that it rested on Josie's shoulder.

Josie felt the second scoff die in her throat. Hope never opened up like this; not according to how her dad, Alaric, described her. Hope just wanted an explanation, really; she wanted to see what it was about her brooding, rude, insult-spitting younger self that Josie found so alluring. It was more curiosity and surprise than she intended on showing.

"When you asked me if I still have a crush on you," the brunette fiddled with the fingers in her grasp absentmindedly. "Is that… cause…"

Hope's walls shot up faster than the monsters appearing at their school show up. Her shoulders became rigid, and her soft blue eyes became guarded with thick, steel barriers. Apathetically, she said, "Cause what?"

The question died in Josie's mind. "Why do you do that?"

The rigid shoulders twitched, "What?"

"Put up your walls. Guard your emotions."

Hope shuffled her feet back and forth on the rug. Nobody called her out on that, usually—it was mainly Josie's dad and the school counselor. She'd never answered any of them, and she surely wasn't going to answer to Jo—

"I'm scared," where the hell did that come from? "I don't want to get hurt. I don't want whoever I'm talking with to get hurt either."

Josie's eyebrows lifted to her forehead, and she squeezed the hand that was still holding Hope's. Hope forgot about that, but she didn't pull away.

"Well, don't do it with me." Josie answered after a long while. "You won't hurt me."

"And if I do?" the russet-brown-haired student questioned. "If I end up hurting you? Alaric would look at me with those angry eyes, Lizzie would tear me to shreds. Penelope would—"

"_If_," Josie stops her. "_If_ you hurt me."

Hope doesn't get it. It's still a possibility. Josie slips her hand from Hopes so that it can cup one side of Hope's face, her pinkie resting below the girl's jaw line and the others spread lazily along her cheek.

"How would you hurt me, Hope?"

Hope's face turns red and her lips part in shock, as if she's about to say something. Instead, all that escaped was a mangled sigh. She raise one arm and slowly curls it around Josie's neck, standing on her toes.

For a second, her eyes are downcast, but when they lift to meet Josie's, she sees the entire ocean in Hope's eyes. Firm lips meet hers, and she closes her eyes in bliss. Although she's told herself—a _lot_—that her crush for Hope was gone, it spurs up to the surface from where she's compartmentalized it and takes control of how she pushes back into the kiss; into the tribrid, letting a hand curve around her waist.

In a minute, that's blissfully long and also way too short, Hope's lips settle back from hers, those blue eyes wide and spooked.

"Hope," Josie speaks, voice raspy. "If that's your idea of hurting me… then, by all means, _hurt me more_."

The swift, blinding grin Hope had on when Josie had admitted her crush to her returned, and she pressed back into the siphon. Both were crawling with joy, exposed teeth from their smiles clashing. Josie could get used to being 'hurt' everyday.

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**goodbye that was a really cliche ending but... yes**


End file.
